Revenge of The Weekly Review

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of The Sith (et al)

Did you really think I wouldn't talk about this movie?

First, a note about this post, its huge, and yet I still have broken it up into four seperate posts. You have should seen it when it was one Jabba the Hutt sized post. Needless to say, if you are a regular reader of this site (HA!) then you are going to be reading about Star Wars for a solid week and if that's not your cup of tea, then you'll be quite... thirsty.

Second of all, there are all sorts of spoilers in it, for Episode III and all of the other Star Wars movies, so if you haven't seen all of them and/or any of them, and you care about spoilers, then don't read this... but tell someone else to because I need more people to read this thing anyway.

Ahem

I can (and will) talk about ROTS in many different contexts, but the first and foremost is as a stand alone movie, and its a good one at that.

It has been almost three weeks since the premier of ROTS (acronyms = cool) and by now I am pretty sure everyone has made a decision whether they will see the movie or not, so the point of writing a review is rather...pointless. I needed about three weeks, however, to let the movie sink in and attempt to form some sort of objective feelings about it. Had I shared my thoughts about ROTS as soon as I got back from the midnight showing, my review would have read something like this:

OMG! ROTS IS TEH PWN + THE R0X0RZ AND TEH SHITZZZ!!!!!!1!!!! I W4NT 2 HAV UR BABYZ GEORGE LUC4S!!!!!! IF U DNT LUV ROTS U R TEH G4Y !!!!11!1!!! LOLZ!

Aren't you glad that now we can have an adult (albeit one sided) conversation about this movie? Oh, but if you don't like it, you u r still teh g4y.

One thing I said minutes after I saw the movie still holds true today. Revenge of the Sith (full title used for dramatic effect) is the best of the Prequel Trilogy. Now to some people, that is like saying, "The XFL was the most successful of the non-NFL football leagues" or "Taylor is the most talented Hanson brother," but from me, it really means something because I genuinely liked the Prequel Trilogy.

If that last statement shocks or offends you, good, because that means someone besides Lisa is reading this site (she is already familiar with my views on.. well, everything).

ROTS is everything I hoped it would be, and that is saying a lot. ROTS starts out right in the middle of the action, which I love. Zipping through a space battle that finally does the "Star Wars" moniker justice, the movie opens with a bang, grabbing the audience with an excitement that says, "we know this is the last time that we get to do this with you, so let's do it right, baby." The effects in this sequence, and in the whole movie are as top notch as ever, and blend more seamlessly with the live actors than almost any movie I have ever seen. Since Lucas did everything on a sound stage, it is important that the live and CG pieces blend, and they do.

So the movie looks awesome, but for most people it takes more than that to be a good movie. In the story department, Lucas finally came back to his full glory. He has said that he writes on a larger scale, and this overall story line is very satisfying. Each event is important, logical and contributes to the story. Everything fits together pretty nicely, though the movie does have two distinct halves. Though Anakin and Obi Wan spend the middle of the movie apart, the action goes back and forth between them nicely, and more effectively than such jumping around was handled in The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. Lucas has woven a story that does justice to the expectations we all had about the fall of Anakin. For once, things are motivated and characters do what they should, and for reasons that make sense. A lot of people (mostly manly men, I assume) have a problem that Anakin's journey to the Dark Side is motivated by his love and his fear of loss. I for one love that angle. It would have been very easy to make Anakin simply hungry for power and domination, but Lucas shows Anakin as someone whose good intentions lead him terribly off track. He crosses a line between dedication and obsession and that journey allows for a much deeper movie than simply another powerful man who wants more power.

Anakin does cross the line, and ROTS clearly demonstrates that, almost to a fault. I say almost, because there is one scene in particular that I am surprised has not garnered controversy. If you have not seen the movie and you have not heeded my warning from the top of this post then please STOP READING. HERE BE SPOILERS! The seen where Anakin/Vader encounters a group of children in the Jedi temple borders on the edge of being a bit too much. I think it is still one the safe side of the line, but Lisa is not so sure. While it is certainly intense and power to so graphically imply that Anakin kills children, I think it is very important to the plot of the movie and the character. Actual violence against children is not shown, and in fact the word "children" or "kids" isn't even used in connect with the violent acts. This shows how far Anakin has fallen and what evil he really is capable of. It is important to show that Anakin really is dead and that (at this time) there is no chance of redemption. Some would say that those points could be expressed with out implying Vader kills younglings, and that may be true, but when you think about it, even more violent acts are implied in A New Hope. Darth Vader destroys a planet. Yes, it is not graphic, but regardless Vader orders the death of an ENTIRE POPULATION. His experience in the Jedi Temple shows just a fraction of the deeds that the most evil man in the galaxy is capable of and how skewed he has become.

Either way, the acting has really improved this time around. Finally, it is okay to like Hayden Christensen who, as I and George Lucas have both noted, was unfairly lampooned for Episode II. We won't be seeing any Oscar nominations for acting in Episode III, but we wouldn't have seen any for the Original Trilogy too. Ewan McGregor is finally having fun with his part, something we all have been waiting for. Natalie Portman is hot as ever, but unfortunately most of her scenes are the ill-fated, badly-written, sweet-talk scenes I will get into later.

The real star of the movie though was Ian McDiarmid. Of course we knew he rocked the Kasbah, in Return of the Jedi, but in ROTS, McDiarmid really got down and dirty as the most wicked old man in the galaxy.

If the Internet is any indication however, even bad-ass Emperor Palpatine is not enough to save ROTS from a deluge of harsh words on our quaint little world wide web. Some of these criticisms I agree with, but not to such a strong degree. Yes, its true, George Lucas can not write romantic dialogue to save his life. Not even a little bit. He was married for a time, and you can be sure that ol' George did not woo her with verse. Sadly the incredibly hot Natalie Portman has the bulk of her performance trapped in this awkwardly written and directed scenes. I think the two actors are doing the best they can, but are still fighting against a bad script and weak directing. Lucas himself has admitted he can't write dialogue, which earns points for modesty, but he still should have got help from another writer since Anakin and Padme's relationship is so important to the story.

The rest of the outcry on the Internet is nothing more than poppycock (I know that term is out dated, but I don't care, its fun to say.. er, write). A lot of sites mock Vader's "Noooooooooooooo!", but seriously, what else was he supposed to say? Star Wars has always bordered on campy, and the Darth Vader table scene is a homage to every Frankenstein scene ever, campiness included. Personally, I don't see why Darth Vader needs to be outfitted with his tunic and cape and helmet the second he is on the operating table as his suit and respirator are the only things he really needs for survival, but I understand the artistic image Lucas wanted. That was his money shot and the moment that helmet clicks on and we hold our breath as Vader takes his first, I was literally on the edge of my seat.

(Even though I do think a lot of nitpicking ROTS on the web is extreme, this site is actually really funny, just don't tell anyone who linked to it.)

Seriously though, what do the people who make it a past time to bash Star Wars really hope to accomplish? Are they stopping people from seeing it? Ticket sales say no. Its always been said that any publicity is good publicity. Plus, a lot of this Internet banter was up right after the midnight showing. This means that these people waited in line all day, and paid higher ticket prices just to watch a movie they would later be bashing on the Internet. George Lucas is laughing at you all the way to the bank. To paraphrase what I read on some message board, if you tried Coke once and didn't like it, tried it a second time and still didn't like it, why would you wait in line to get the next shipment?

Once again the hype machine ravaged ROTS, namely in the form of General Greivous. Yes he was cool, and yes four arms were indeed l33t, but he only fought with them for about 30 seconds. I would have enjoyed him a lot more, and probably found him a lot cooler of a character if I hadn't had him and his four arms shoved down my throat since February. The same thing happened with Episode II, with Yoda fighting and Anakin using two sabers. They were over-hyped and the execution didn't stand up to the build up.

Luckily, the same thing didn't happen to the movie as a whole. I have been waiting for this movie since before Episode I came out. This is my, and the world's, last chance to see Star Wars, and though Vader is on everything from Pop Tarts to toilet paper, Revenge of the Sith was worth every late night I stayed online reading about "leaked footage", every action figure I've bought, and every doubter I defended the movie to before it even came out. The Saga is over, and it went out with a bang.

Only six months until the DVD.



A Final Note: I really want to thank Lisa for helping me with this post, and every post that comes this week. In fact, Lisa helps me with every post that graces this site. You see, before I publish any post, Lisa reads them back to me, out loud and helps me proofread them. Since this post is so huge, I really, really owe her a huge debt of gratitude and recognition. There is quite a high degree of patience required to deal with me when I write, and to live with me, be in a relationship with me and pretty much know me in general. Luckily, her patience is just one of many wonderful qualities that Lisa overflows with. Thanks Limbo.