The Lightsaber says...

Click the title of this post to understand where it comes from...

Remember how last week I said I was getting over being sick? Yeah, well I lied. Exactly two weeks from the day I was diagnosed with Strep Throat, I was back at the doctor being told I had bronchitis. White blood cells, why hast thou forsaken me?

Bronchitis is even more stressful than Strep, meaning it has knocked me flat on my ass for the last couple of days. That explains the new site design. Tinkering makes me feel better, consistency be damned!

One thing (besides Lisa and Gilmore Girls) that is giving me the will to live, is knowing that I have midnight tickets to see Episode III. If you are asking yourself, "Episode III of what?" Than stop reading immediately, crawl out of whatever cliche ridden rock you live under and get the latest issue of Premiere, or Entertainment Weekly, or even Wired. ( I have all three, muahaha)

Other forms of sustenance include the WONDERFUL Xbox game Lego Star Wars. Which will soon merit a post here. ("Like the Prom post?" Shut up! It's coming...) In fact Star Wars fever in general has consumed me to far more of an extent than bronchitis ever could. Case in point, my Star Wars collection's newest member is none other than a toy version of George Lucas's finest creation...

(No, not Natalie Portman, she isn't Lucas's finest creation, she is God's finest creation...)

The single coolest, most awe inspiring thing in the both Star Wars Trilogies, and maybe in all of Sci-Fi existence, is the Lightsaber. It is Lucas's legacy, because everyone, everywhere has wished at some point to twirl a lightsaber and feel its hum. Even starving kids in Rwanda... they could use it to... kill food...(?)

I have been fascinated with them since I first saw the first movies on TV when I was too young to appreciate Leia's gold bikini. One special event, however, really cemented the lightsaber's place in my nerdy heart, and I will tell you about it. I'm sure anyone who knows me, especially Lisa, wonders why I am so obsessed with my plastic light up toys "for a more civilized age". This will hopefully clear that up.

When I was but a wee lad, my family used to enjoy camping up in the Rocky Mountains. In preparation for one certain trip, we went to the store to get camping supplies specifically for me. This was to be no ordinary trip. This trip, I would be sleeping in my own, personal tent. It would still be about three feet from my parents' tent, but for all intents and purposes, when that flap of nylon was zipped up, I was on my own in the wilderness.

We picked out my tent with relative ease and had moved on to all the other sorts of supplies I would need to make it in the wild woods. When we reached flashlights, the geek flame in me truly found its first spark. All I needed was a simple little flashlight, but when we saw this flashlight, me and my dad "awwwed" as only nerds can. It was roughly the size of a lightsaber, and the whole thing was covered in black rubber, with textured hand grips. It had a wrist strap and instead of a usual sliding on/off button, it had a clicky button, right where your thumb was - just like a lightsaber. Now, at first I didn't see the resemblance to the famed laser sword, I just thought it was a darn cool piece of illuminating hardware. My dad however, in explaining to my mother why I needed this quite expensive flashlight remarked, "but honey, it looks just like a lightsaber!"

That was all it took. My mom knew when to step aside and let the Nerd Train pass. Later when we were getting all of our gear packed, my dad asked me, "man to man" if I was okay being in my own tent. I assured him that I would be fine. We weren't backpacking, we camped in the National Park campgrounds with the gravel tent pads. We'd done it a million times, I was sure I'd be fine. While I answered my dad, I was more concerned with swinging my new flashlight around making lightsaber noises.

"Well, its a good thing you won't be scared, because Jedi aren't afraid of anything."

I stopped swinging. He was right, Jedi weren't afraid of anything. Suddenly, this flashlight came with responsibility. Was I ready for it?

Well, my test came the first night of the camping trip. After lounging in front of the fire, the impending clouds told us that it was time to retire to our tents. With her "my-little-boy-is-growing-up" pouty smile, my mom sad good night as my dad zipped me in my tent. About an hour later, the clouds had let loose a torrential rainstorm. I was not a fan. I tried to stay hunkered down in my sleeping bag and block it all out, but rain is really loud on a little tent. The flashes of lightening making silhouettes of the trees on the walls of my tent and the rolling thunder echoing in the mountains didn't help either. I was on the verge of terrified. Maybe I wasn't ready to be in my own tent. I'm sure my mother was thinking the same thing.

Then I saw the handle of my flashlight peaking out of my back pack. Echoing like Obi-Wan's voice to Luke as he made the Death Star trench run, I heard my dad: "Jedi aren't afraid of anything." I had a lightsaber didn't I? I had a stack of X-Men comic books didn't I? As I began reading, I didn't even notice the rain. While the storm continued outside I fell asleep with my lightsaber in my arms, complete with dead batteries.

For the rest of the trip, I hung the flashlight from my belt, ready at any moment for a chance to be brave.

I hope that explains, just a little, why I am the way I am.

Sancho